Review: brave in a new world – A Guide to Grieving the Loss of a Spouse

Brave In A New World
A Guide to Grieving the Loss of a Spouse

Author: Yvonne Broady
Lulu.com
2014
ISBN #978-1-4834-2229-9

Brave In A New World cover

Losing someone close to you is the hardest thing that anyone can go through. Author Yvonne Broady saw her husband, Clarence Cortez Loftin III, through a difficult battle with pancreatic cancer. Mr. Loftin lost his battle at the age of sixty-one. This was the beginning of author Yvonne Broady’s journey to find herself, to find out who she really was, and to navigate her new world as a single woman.

Her journey was a long one, and the writing of this book was an integral part of that process. This book puts into words her personal grief process, and discusses the steps that she took to handle her emotional pain.

This book, IMHO, serves as a guide to the grieving process, as well as a source of inspiration and hope. It flows as a story, filled with Broady’s experiences, thoughts, pain, and joy. Above all, it is real, and speaks with a very real voice.

We are taken from the initial diagnosis of pancreatic cancer, through the options available to them, and through how the process affected both Broady and her husband as individuals. One of the most important things for me was Broady’s acknowledgment of her husband’s psyche – how he felt about the disease, his treatment, and not wanting to be a burden to his wife.

We see in a very real way how important networking is – with family, with friends, and with the medical establishment. We see how important the medical establishment is after a death, in offering counseling and other services. I was very happy to see that Broady availed herself of both traditional and non-traditional treatments. She respected all wisdom that was out there, and allowed it to help her in whatever way it could.

She speaks of many things – about dealing with people that are trying to help, but really don’t, and about simply trying to reintegrate herself into her community. She speaks of how friends and family were there for her, and how her faith supported her in this trying time. She talks about the “supernatural” (the small things that happen after someone has passed that let us know they are still there, such as the flickering of lights, or a soft breeze). She talks about life!

At the end of the book is a section where other people have shared their experiences with grief over someone close dying. In the spirit of transparency, I have to let you know that I shared a few thoughts with Yvonne over the passing of my father, and she has included them in her book. The insights shared in this section are phenomenal! Broady ends with thoughts on hope, and how to remember a spouse. (They are never forgotten!)

This book is a wonderful resource that I recommend to all that are facing, or about to face, the grieving process.

© 2000 – 2014 Bonnie Cehovet
Reproduction prohibited without written permission of the author.

Tarot Birth Cards – Death/Emperor

Over the next year I am going to be writing about Tarot Birth Cards, what they mean and how we can work with them. I use the system of Tarot Birth Cards developed by Ruth Ann and Wald Amberstone of the Tarot School (www.tarotschool.com). Using the Seeker’s birth data (month, day and year), pairs of birth cards are defined. (For more information, and to calculate your own Birth Cards, go tohttp://tarotschool.com/Calculator.html.)

Please note: I have a book being published by Schiffer Books in fall of 2011 –  “Keys To Empowerment”, incorporating images from Karyn’s Easton’s “Tarot Lovers Tarot”. This was to have been a joint project (book and deck published together), but the decision was made to publish both separately, which I find very exciting! Karyn has a Birth Card calculator up on her site, where you can also view her incredible deck (it really is!) –http://paranormality.com/tarot-birth-card-calculator.shtml.

A special thanks to Leisa ReFalo www.tarotconnection.net, who developed the Birth Card Calculator, and graciously gave us permission to use it.

Our fourth pair of Birth Cards are the Death (Key 13) and the Emperor (Key 4). Some of the associations for these cards are:

Death
Astrological Sign: Scorpio
Keywords: Release, change, living in the past, stuck in old patterns, blocks, transformation, renewal, detachment.

The Emperor
Astrological Sign: Aries
Keywords:  Decisive, ability to observe, logical thinking, organization, determination, male energy (animus), leadership, ambition, seeking stability, protecting others, dominion over mind, emotions, body.

The Theme for this lifetime is:  Learning to detach from the physical world, and release all expectations. The ability to take a leadership position, and own ones power.

We can choose to do personal work with our own Birth Cards, we can use Birth Cards in conjunction with a reading for a client (place their birth cards, drawn from a deck other than the one you are reading with, above the spread(s) laid out for them). The spread(s) are then read through the lens of perception of the Seeker’s Birth Cards. As added value, a reader could give their client scans of their Birth Cards, along with a short write-up about them. Readers can also use the Birth Card system to better understand other people in their own lives (family, co-workers, friends etc.).

The key to bringing balance to any lifetime is that of understanding how and where your Birth Cards are operating in your life. Death, ruled by Scorpio, places the focus on releasing that which no longer serves us well. This could be releasing people, places, things, or even an attitude, or way of looking at something, from our life.

The Emperor, ruled by Aries places focus on an independent optimistic, generous nature. There is also a sense of calculated risk taking here, as well as the ability to get things done. (The fact that the Emperor archetype has a magnetic personality does not hurt!).  There is often a sense of excitement and adventure surrounding the Emperor archetype, thanks to his Aries ruler.

Death and the Emperor set the tone for this lifetime. The path that the individual walks is one that addresses the lessons of balance in life – Death releases, to make room for future growth, while the Emperor brings order to what already exists. Death stands in the background, clearing things away, while the Emperor takes a position of leadership, making and implementing decisions.

A 13/4 (Death/Emperor) individual empowers themselves by releasing self-imposed holds from the past, that which is blocking them, holding them back, or not serving them well. They give up the ask that they gave been showing in public so that they can be who they really are. It is facing our fears and releasing them, giving up old habits and old ways of thinking of things. This is also a lifetime of accepting leadership roles, of using their power in an efficient manner to bring order out of chaos, and to make effective decisions.  What needs to be watched for here is a tendency to be judgmental and over analytical.

We are what we tell ourselves we are. When we understand why we make the decisions that we do, we can look at the decisions that are not bringing us happiness, and rethink them. If our decisions are not taking us where we want to go, we have a disconnect in our life. A 13/4 lifetime is all about releasing the past and taking accountability for the present and future.

Death and the Emperor act together to form the foundation for an authentic life. Death demands that we release that which no longer serves us well. He asks us to disconnect from the past, and from repetitive old patterns of thinking and acting. He asks us to recognize and release the blocks in our life – to move past them. When Death enters out life, we may change jobs, change career fields, move to a new home, or a new state, release a friendship, leave a long-term relationship or marriage, or make some other type of transition. Death is all about the unknown, and brings out all the fears that we have hiding within us. With Death, we are moving past and releasing these fears, so that they no longer have a hold over us.

The Emperor is all about creating structure out of chaos. He is intimately concerned with the details of life (where Death demands that we release attachment to the details of life). He is the animus, or the male influence in life. He is self-confident, powerful, and is not afraid to take calculated risks. His thinking is organized and logical, and he takes action only after he has thought things through. He is good at problem solving, and implementing solutions.

Images from the “Tarot Lovers Tarot”, Karyn Easton, 2008, paranormality.com.

(c) April 2011 Bonnie Cehovet